I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
