But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
