She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
