i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
