We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
