but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
