You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
