omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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