3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize