he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
