Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
