Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
