My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
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