forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
