didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
