Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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