the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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