are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
