if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
