He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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