How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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