so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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