Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
In America we eat man semen.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
