there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
