We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
