strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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