Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
