You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
whose parrot is this?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
