White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
