Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
