Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
