I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
