that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
