I hate all girls vehemently.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
