I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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