OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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