I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
