I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
