your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
