I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
