should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
