what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
