She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
