i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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