god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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