i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
