so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
