some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
