I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
