I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
