She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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